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教授关上门，清点了一下剩余的同学，说道：“我非常高兴看到你们能够相信自己，你们都得‘A’。”
Smart Students Taking a Final Exam
A professor stood before his class of 20 senior organic biology students； about to hand out the final exam。
“I want to say that it’s been a pleasure teaching you this semester。 I know you’ve all worked extremely hard and many of you are off to medical school after summer。 So that no one gets their GPA messed up because they might have been celebrating a bit too much this week； anyone who would like to opt out of the final exam today will receive a ‘B’ for the course。”
There was much rejoicing amongst the class as students got up； passed by the professor to thank him and sign out on his offer。 As the last taker left the room； the professor looked out over the handful of remaining students and asked； “Any one else？ This is your last chance。” One final student rose up and took the offer。
聪明人生 第六章（2）
The professor closed the door and took attendance of those students remaining。 “I’m glad to see you believe in yourself。” he said。 “You all have ‘A’ s。”
画家与农民
画家选择了一个风景优美的地方去度假，而且还住在了一位农民家里。画家每天都带着颜料和画笔出去作画，直到天黑才回到农场，吃完一顿丰盛的晚餐后就蒙头大睡。
假期快结束的时候，画家要付钱给农民，可是农民却说：
“不，我不要钱。但是，能不能送我一张您的画？钱有什么用？ 一星期后就花没了，可是这张画却还能保留。”
听了这些话，画家感到非常高兴，感谢农民对他作品的赞扬。
农民笑着回答说：
“不是这个意思，我的儿子在伦敦，他想当一名画家。等他下个月回来时，我要把您的这幅画拿给他看。我想他看过之后，大概再也不想当画家了。”
The Artist and the Farmer
An artist went to a beautiful part of the country for a holiday and stayed with a farmer。 Every day he went out with his paints and his brushes and painted till evening； and then when it got dark he went back to the farm and had a good dinner before he went to bed。
At the end of his holiday he wanted to pay the farmer； but the farmer said：
“No； I don’t want money。 But give me one of your pictures。 What’s money？ In a week it will all be finished； but your picture will still be here。”
The painter was very pleased and thanked the farmer for saying such kind things about his paintings。
The farmer smiled and answered：
“It’s not that。 I have a son in London。 He wants to bee an artist。 When he es here next month； I’ll show him your picture； and then he will not want to be an artist any more； I think。”
出人意料的答案
上个星期，一位数学老师有整整一周的时间讲的全是有关分数的问题。现在，他想知道学生掌握的情况怎样。于是他问班上的一个男生：“假如我把一块肉切成两半，我会得到什么？”
学生立刻回答：“两个二分之一片。”
老师说：“非常好，假如我把每一片再切成两片呢？”
下一个学生说：“四个四分之一片。”
老师往下问：“罗伯特，假如我再切一次呢？”
罗伯特回答：“八个八分之一片。”
老师一面说：“正确！”一面向另外一名同学点头，问道：“再切一次呢？”
回答是：“老师，十六个十六分之一片。”
老师说：“很好，再切一次呢，莉萨？”
莉萨想了一会儿说：“三十二个三十二分之一片。”
老师又继续说：“对了，再切一次呢？”
最后一个同学回答道：“那就变成肉馅了！”
An Unexpected Answer
A math teacher had been teaching his class all about fractions for the past week； and now he wanted to find out how much they had been able to remember； so he asked one of the boys in the class；“if I cut a piece of meat into two pieces； what would I get？”
“Halves。” answered the student at once。
“Good；” said the teacher； “Robert； if I cut each piece in half again？”
“Fourths。” answered Robert。
“Yes；”said the teacher； nodding to the next boy。“And again？”
“Eighths。”
“Yes；” said the teacher； nodding to the next boy。“And again？”
“Sixteenths； sir； was the answer。”。 最好的txt下载网
聪明人生 第六章（3）
“Good；” said the teacher。 “And once more； Lisa？”
“Thirty…seconds；” answered Lisa after thinking for a few seconds。
“Yes； that’s right。 And again？” the teacher continued。
“Hamburger meat；” answered the last student。
上 钩
午饭前，乔刚打算去他经常光顾的酒吧坐坐。他看见在酒吧外5厘米深的雨水坑边，一个衣衫褴褛的人正在垂钓。乔停了下来，盯着那个人看了几分钟。他看到大多数路人都认为那个人精神不正常。
乔觉得那个人很可怜，于是又过了几分钟后，他走上前去，友好地对那个人说：“你好，你是否愿意跟我一块到酒吧喝杯酒呢？”
那个垂钓者欣然接受了邀请，于是两个人一同走进了酒吧。乔为那个人要了几杯酒，最后对他说：“你一直在外面钓鱼，是不是？ 假如你不介意的话，我想问一下今天早上你钓上了几条？”
“你是第8条。”那个垂钓者高兴地回答。
A Good Catch
Joe was going into his usual bar before lunch when he saw a poody dressed man fishing in a small pool of rain…water about five centimeters deep outside it。 Joe stopped and watched the man for a few minutes。 He saw that most of the people who passed by him believed he must be rather mad。
Joe pitied the man； so after a few rainutes he went up to him and said kindly；“Hello。 would you like to e into the bar and have a drink with me？”
The fisherman was delighted to accept his offer； and the two men went into the bar together。 Joe bought the fisherman a few drinks； and finally said to him。 “You’ve been fishing outside here； haven’t you？ How many did you manage to catch this morning； if I may ask？”
“You’ve been the eighth。” the fisher…man answered merrily。
两个男孩
一对夫妇有两个儿子，一个8岁，一个10岁。他们都很淘气，总是惹麻烦。他们的父母知道，只要镇上发生了恶作剧，他们的儿子就很可能也参与了。
男孩的母亲听说镇上有一位牧师， 在教育孩子方面很在行，于是便问他是否可以跟他的儿子们谈一谈。牧师同意了，但是两个孩子要分开问。因此母亲早上先把8岁的孩子送了过去，大一点的孩子下午再过去。
牧师身材高大，声音洪亮。他让小孩子坐下来，严厉地问道：“上帝在哪里？”
男孩张大了嘴，可是没有作声，他目瞪口呆地坐在那里。于是牧师又严厉地问道：“上帝在哪里？”男孩再一次沉默。于是牧师又提高了嗓门，在男孩的面前摇着手指，怒吼道：“上帝在哪里？”
男孩尖叫着从屋里冲了出来，直接往家跑去，钻进了衣柜，并把门关上了。当他的哥哥在衣柜中找到他时，问道：“发生了什么事？”
小弟弟喘着气说：“我们闯了大祸了。上帝不见了——他们认为是我们俩干的！”
The Boys
A couple had two little boys； ages 8 and 10； who were excessively mischievous。 They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that； if any mischief occurred in their town； their sons were probably involved。
The boys’ mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children； so she asked if he would speak with her boys。 The clergyman agreed； but asked to see them individually。 So the mother sent her 8…year…old first； in the morning； with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon。 。 想看书来
聪明人生 第六章（4）
The clergyman； a huge man with a booming voice； sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly； “Where is God？”
The boy’s mouth dropped open； but he made no response； sitting there with his mouth hanging open； wide…eyed。 So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone；“Where is God！！？” Again the boy made no attempt to answer。 So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed； “Where is god？”
The boy screamed and bolted from the room； ran directly home and dove into his closet； slamming the door behind him。 When his older brother found him in the closet； he asked； “What happened？”
The younger brother； gasping for breath； replied； “We are in Big trouble this time。 God is missing—and they think we did it！”
婚 礼
琼斯夫人和她的小女儿卡伦在教堂外面凑热闹，因为教堂里正在举行一场婚礼。照完像，大家都开车去参加婚礼宴会了，所有激动人心的事情也结束了。就在这个时候，卡伦问她的妈妈：“妈妈，为什么新娘变主意了？”
“变主意了？你指的是什么？”琼斯夫人问道。
“嗯，”小女孩说，“她和一个男人走进了教堂，可是出来的时候却是和另外一个男人！”
Wedding
Mrs。 Jones and her little daughter Karen were outside the church watching all the ing and goings of a wedding。 After the photographs had been taken； everyone had driven off to the reception and all the excitement was over。 Karen said to her mother； “Why did the bride change her mind； Mummy？”
“What do you mean； change her mind？” asked Mrs。 Jones。
“Well；” said the moppet； “She went into the church with one man and came out with another！”
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聪明人生 第七章（1）
马克·吐温和理发师
有一次，马克·吐温到一个小镇上作演讲。他想在晚饭前先去理发店刮刮胡子。
“你是外地人吧？”理发师问。
“是的，”马克·吐温回答，“我是第一次来这里。”
“你来得正巧，”理发师继续说，“今晚有马克·吐温的演讲，我想你会去的，是吗？”
“噢，我也是这样想的。”
“你买到票了吗？”
“还没有。”
“票全都卖光了，你只能站着了。”
“真讨厌！”马克·吐温叹气着说，“真倒霉，每次那个家伙演讲时我都不得不站着。”
Mark Twain and the Barber
In the course of one of his lecture trips； Mark Twain arrived at a small town。 Before dinner he went to a barber shop to be shaved。
“Are you a stranger？” asked the barber。
“Yes，” Mark Twain replie